Let me get one thing straight, I picked up my first copy of Seventeen Magazine WELL before I was seventeen years old. I know what you’re thinking: this girl is B-A-D BAD, and you’re right! I’m bad at everything. Also, I’m a loser, Also in seventh grade, I had a bald spot. Also in seventh grade, I had a crush on the middle school bad boy who’s grandma I currently dog sit for, that’s what we call a FULL CIRCLE.

Ok, now that we’ve got that settled, let’s discuss the electric gleam of Seventeen Magazine. The hairstyles, the date-night outfits, the ADVICE. Actually, now I’m bored of talking about Seventeen Magazine. Let’s discuss YouTube. Let’s discuss the rules of beauty that I internalized, memorized, and never capitalized off of cause my ‘consciousness’ realized THIS IS BULLSHIT. Ok actually I’m not going to ‘discuss’ anything.I’m just going to move onto another paragraph (check below):

I kind of hate how I spent a good chunk of my teens/ tweens caring about appearance. And I kinda-sorta-well-REALLY hate that people still think there are rules to follow. AINT no rules in STYLE baby. Literally none. I made the mistake of reading a fashion blog the other day and in typical fashion-blog style, they were talking about dating. I’ve never been more confused after reading something in my entire life. Suddenly I felt embarrassed about all the dates I’ve ever been on, which is so unlike me because I’ve literally never once done anything embarrassing in my entire life at all. No, but in all seriousness this article made me feel like I was actually weird for expressing feelings towards anyone ever. So for the past couple days, I’ve been thinking WHO THE FUCK IS MAKING THESE RULES?

Currently, I live by the rules of style, which, like I previously stated, there are none. Brush your curls out big baby, wear twelve skirts at once WITH jeans underneath, mix ever pattern you’ve ever seen. The possibilities: endless.

But in the past, you ask? I lived by the rules of ‘fashion’ which is just a silly little word for people who have sticks shoved so far up their ass they think business casual is groundbreaking. Like that show: What Not to Wear. It should have been called: Taking Unique People and Making Them Look Like They Work In Sales. But, in their defense, my title recommendation is a little long.

Being alive currently has been weird for me; as in I’m really used to caring way too much about what people think of me and REALLY used to feeling ugly. But I don’t really feel that way anymore. Honestly, I feel my prettiest when there’s eyeliner sticking to my greasy eyelids after a day’s hard work of making ‘art’ no one asked for. I brush my curls out a lot because I think it’s fun. And maybe that’s the only rule: HAVE FUN. Too bad I have no credentials whatsoever because if I did this article would be GROUNDBREAKING, I SWEAR! Ok, I suppose this is all I’d like to say. Um, dress however the fuck you want as long as it’s not hurting anyone else!

 

 

March 6, 2019

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